I’m linking up a fourth grade story this week for MamaKat’s Writer’s Workshop.

I vividly remember the fourth grade. I had my all-time favorite teacher(who is actually still teaching – I’m pretty sure he is because you could tell even 33 years ago how much he loved his job), I knew fractions, I was our class student council representative, we just got a new puppy, but mainly I loved fourth grade because my teacher had a cool green pleather couch in the back of the classroom.  Mr. T would let us just go back there and lounge on that couch while we did our reading or when he was teaching math or just to hang if we needed to get up from our desks a bit for a change of scenery.

Or.

Mr. T also let us stay inside for recess if we chose to(he was really into free-choice), and so a group of about 10 of us would stay inside many days and play The Newlywed Game.

It was all the rage in 1978 and my parents rarely missed an episode. We would listen to Bob Eubanks talk about ‘making whoopee’ as talking about the s.e.x on the TV was verboten way back then in the olden days.

I was always married to James. He was cute and blond and super short but a good kisser..so he was always my husband.  We would answer questions just like the real Newlywed Game and we would kiss and make a scene each time we got a question right.

Mr. T always went outside for recess. Sometimes I wonder if he knew that a third of his class was making out on the green pleather couch. Damn I loved that teacher.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about fourth grade(and James) a lot lately because Eloise will be a fourth grader in just a few short weeks. Thank god The Newlywed Game went off the air 20 years ago so I know she won’t play that in the classroom. But what reality television show will they play now?

The Real Housewives of Orange County? – Will they take turns getting botox and boob jobs?

Dancing with the Stars? – Will they take turns being b-list stars who cry on television because the whole thing is just so damn life-changing?

Dance Moms? – Will they fight over who gets to play Abby Lee and then humiliate small children or act like the immature dance moms?

Survivor? – Will they form cliques and vote people out of the forth grade(um bully!)? Will they eat bugs?

The Apprentice? – Will they back-stab their fellow students just to impress their egotistical teacher?

The Bachelorette? – Will they have to sleep with everyone in the whole grade before dumping the guy at the end because he’s just not good enough and it keeps ratings high?

See – now that I think about it, playing The Newlywed Game seems pretty damn innocent.

Also, where do I buy a green pleather couch?